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Alcohol and drug abuse is a family problem, and recovery is a family process. As you welcome your loved one back into the family following treatment for alcohol or drug abuse, you need to be prepared for the changes that lie ahead.

Below are some tips about what to expect and how to cope with the changes in your family life after your loved one completes treatment:

1. Aftercare Programs and Meetings
At first, your loved one may spend a lot of time focusing on what he or she needs to do to stay clean and sober. He or she will need to make time to attend follow-up appointments, 12-step meetings and other recovery-oriented activities. These are an essential part of the recovery process. Many families it difficult to understand why recovery takes up so much of the person's time and some family members may even feel neglected. Have patience — it will pay off in the long-run.

2. New Rules
Rules are the cornerstone of the treatment process. While in treatment, your loved one may have grown accustomed to following rules, and come to appreciate this level of structure. After returning home, he or she may even suggest new family rules. Wherever possible, try to accommodate these requests and ask other family members to do the same. You may also consider setting house rules to make your loved one feel safe and secure — the most obvious being a ban on alcohol or drugs in your home.

3. Roles and Responsibilities
Before your loved one went into treatment, he or she may have neglected certain roles and responsibilities. Other family members may have pitched in to compensate. Now that your loved one has completed treatment, he or she will probably be eager to participate in family life, and resume his or her family roles and responsibilities. Often this change in the family dynamic can be stressful at first. Don't worry — it will get easier.

4. Communication
As part of the treatment process, your loved one has probably learned to talk about personal issues, like relationships and feelings. Most treatment programs stress the important of open and honest communication. Your loved one may bring these lessons home, and encourage the rest of the family to talk and listen to one another. These conversations may be unsettling and unfamiliar at first. But open communication can help to solve problems and conflicts and, in the long-run, create a healthy home environment.

5. Showing Affection
Before treatment, your loved one may have only expressed love and affection while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. As part of the recovery process, your loved one — and the rest of the family — needs to find new ways to share feelings in a positive way. You may find this experience exciting or challenging. It may take time, but as a family you can work out a way to express your love and care in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable.

6. New People, Places and Things
While in treatment your love one will have learned to avoid people, places and things associated with his or her drug abuse. This may affect your social life as a family, and may cause some conflicts in the home. Try to be understanding and help your loved one to stay on track.

7. Your Feelings
Alcohol and drug abuse affects the whole family, and your feelings are important too. Make time for yourself, and talk to trusted family or friends about your experiences.

8. Support Groups
Look for specialized groups for children, families and friends of substance abusers in your area. These groups may be offered through your school or church, a family service agency or through your local chapter of Al-Anon or Alateen.

9. Family Counseling
A good counselor can help families cope with stress and changes in family dynamics. A counselor will usually meet with an individual or family once or twice a week. During these sessions, the counselor will listen, ask questions and offer ideas. The counselor may also use play, art, or stories to help children express their emotions. When you look for a counselor, try to find someone who has worked with families like yours.

There are many different types of counselors: clinical social workers (MSW or LicSW after their name) often work with children and families. A psychologist (Ph.D. or PsyD.) or school counselor (Ed.D.) may be a good choice if your child needs help with school or learning problems. A psychiatrist (M.D.) is a doctor with special training in mental health and is a good choice if your child has serious medical or mental health problems.

10. Relapse Warning Signs
'Relapse' is when a person in recovery uses alcohol or drugs. It can be a one-off occurrence or it can last for an extended period of time. Family members can help a person in recovery by looking out for warning signs — a return to old behaviors, hanging out with friends who are using, unexplained absences. If you suspect that your loved one has relapsed, contact their counselor or the treatment program where they were enrolled and ask for help.


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