Phoenix House > Drug Help > True Stories > Ben
 
I grew up in an abusive home, the oldest of three children. I have memories of good times, like spending time at the park with my mom, dad, brother and sister or going to the movies. But most of my memories are of hard, sad times. I remember watching my dad beat up my mother on several occasions, and when I couldn't see it, I heard it. When I was 11 my mom got up the courage to leave my dad but things didn't get better. She began drinking and using drugs. I had little supervision and began to rebel.

When I was about 15 or 16 years old I began smoking weed and was jumped into a tagging crew. I remember my first time smoking weed. It was scary. I wanted to look cool in front of my friends so I didn't stop smoking it until they did. I didn't like the way I felt, and went straight to bed afterwards, but I still got up and did the same thing all over again. In ninth grade I was kicked out of school for smoking weed in class and having a pipe. Next I was enrolled in a continuation school. About an hour into my first day I was caught with a pocketknife and expelled again. I dropped put of high school and went to work for my grandfather at his landscaping business.

At around this time I began using speed and angel dust. I began having parties at home even when my family was all there. Fights would break out between my tagging crew and the rival gang from the area. During one of these fights a friend was shot, my head was busted open with a brick, and the police surrounded the house — all while my mom, brother and sister were inside. That was it. Enough was enough — it was time to get sober. My best friend and I began to talk about how we were going to do this. But nothing came of it — I guess it wasn't time.

Soon after, I was picked up during another fight and sent to Juvenile Hall. During my stay, Phoenix House interviewed me. I told the counselor I wanted to join the program, not realizing it was in Orange County and so far from my family. I was accepted and entered Phoenix House in September of 1997. I was in treatment for 14 months.

About six months into the program I decided that I really needed to begin to work on myself. The group sessions taught me a lot about respecting myself and others, and about expressing my feelings. I got my first job and opened a bank account. My time in treatment also taught me how to handle responsibility -- like managing my money and getting to work on time.

As the time came for me to leave the program I had to make a choice — go back home or stay in Orange County, enter the live-out program and graduate from Phoenix House. I decided to stay. I graduated in 2000. I joined AmeriCorps and was assigned to Phoenix House Orange County. After completing a year, I was hired as a full time counselor. I worked there for three years and began attending Cypress Community College.

Today I am a Primary Counselor at Touchstones, a substance abuse treatment program for kids. I live with my girlfriend and our three children — a beautiful four year-old girl and our two-year old twins. They're a handful but a pleasure. My girlfriend has two children from a previous relationship who I enjoy watching grow up. I don't know where I would be today without Phoenix House. They taught me that there are always people who are willing to take a chance on you, so take one on yourself — you may just find that you are worth it.

Ben is pictured here with his daughter.


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