True Stories
Phoenix House Graduates
Margaret P.
College Students
Austin, Texas
Recovery is not a destination, but a journey. That quote, along with every concept I was taught during my stay at the Phoenix Academy, has been a big part of my life in the past year.
A year ago my life appeared to be nicely put together, no loose ends, and every day a smile glued to my face. I was the outgoing cheerleader with a great future ahead of me. I was funny, popular, but also praying someone would see through my act and get me help or kill me.
My drug use began right before my 15th birthday. I went from a fun-loving young girl to being addicted to cocaine. I fell in love with the drug, how it could hide my pain, even if it was just temporary. My life revolved around the drug, when I would get it and where from. No one noticed I was living a double life. Almost a year later, I was tired of the lies, the pain, and the pain I was causing to those who loved me. I could not believe I had created my own hell and was bringing everyone I loved with me.
In May 2005, I finally told my mother I wanted help. Where I was going to get help was easy — my mother had been working at Phoenix House for 12 years. I was comfortable there. But because there is no Phoenix Academy in Florida, we decided I would go to Austin.
So it began. On May 16, 2005, I arrived at the Phoenix Academy of Austin. I had a separate suitcase just for shoes, half of which were sent back home. The face of the intake counselor was priceless.
During the intake process, I asked for the most difficult counselor they had. In walked Miss Emily. She seemed kind, soft-spoken, everything I did not need at this time. During our first session, while I tried pushing every button, she did not react to me, which irritated me even more. But I began to trust her and opened up for the first tie in years. I told the truth to Miss Emily and she became my saving grace. She taught me to always love myself, to be open to new things, and most of all to accept myself.
That October, I found out that the girls’ dormitory at the Academy would be closing due to lack of funds and I would be moving to the Phoenix Academy of Dallas. I arrived in Dallas angry at the world, and I was ready to challenge every word spoken to me. Every day I asked my counselor and my mother if I could go home. And every day they said no. Slowly I began to realize that I wasn’t ready to leave. I had not grasped the concept, “nothing is constant but change.”
I stayed in contact with Miss Emily, who reminded me that no one told me this was going to be easy. So, I repeated that to myself over and over again. In December, 2005, I graduated and returned to Florida.
Today I am still sober and yes, some days are horrible and I want to crawl under my sheets and just hide. But then, I have those amazing days where all the bad ones are overshadowed.
This year I graduate from high school. And out of all the places I could go to college, I have chosen to move to Austin. I am excited to begin a new chapter in my life — in the town where my life actually started.
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